Idealists Are The Real Realists

By: Dawn Alethea Lowe En (24J09)

This is a video that really inspired me and helped shape some of the ideas I ended up using

There is a philosophy I follow every time I write. It is why I write and why I enjoy it. 

When I write, it is with the goal of impacting my readers: whether it be the teacher marking my essays or you, the students currently reading articles on RVTribune. After all, writing is hardly useful if it does not impact its readers, whether through humor or meaning. Thus, when we writers were pitching article ideas at CCA a few months ago, knowing this would be my last article before stepping down as a J2, I wanted to write something that I could say was the most important piece I had written (yes, I know I take myself too seriously sometimes). 

At the time, I was tired of the complaining, the jumping to conclusions, and the general negativity people had. But I could not blame them; with the state the world is in today, it is difficult not to. Still, I did not want to stomach the cynicism that often plagues our minds. Society is reeling from the shock of wars, political instability, and horrors the likes of which we would have never expected — not in the modern, “civilised” society we have grown accustomed to. Often, the easiest way out is to be hardened by what we see and hear, to choose to accept that this is the reality and this is just how things are. 

No, I am not proposing that we look at the world through rose-coloured glasses; I simply want to make a case for humanity. Behind every monster is a child who needs love, a human who was never understood. Someone who was hardened – just. like. us. 

A few months ago, I came across a video by Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychologist. It had a peculiar title and an even more difficult concept to put into practice, even if one agreed with the idea. I am hoping you have already watched it, seeing that it is at the top of this article, but if not, it is a profound look at how we choose to be as people.

Though this speech was given in 1972, over 5 decades ago, it still holds true today.

In our era of amplified sensationalism, even as we become an increasingly educated and discerning society, it is easy to fall back into piling on the blame onto a “bad guy” and judging a situation as black-and-white at the very first glance, already making up our minds before even giving the other party a chance. 

I am sure many of us have read articles or heard about people we do not even know personally and immediately spurned them, assuming the worst and wishing horrible things on them. How could they do such a thing? We think. I hope they (get xxx done to them – the worst things you would never wish even on a “less bad” criminal). We become bloodthirsty, vengeful, and viciously angry. 

The worst part is that the way we think, and the way we allow ourselves to think, manufactures our future thoughts. We slowly, unknowingly lose our sense of empathy, and even our humanity. In the moment, we might think the person does not even deserve an ounce of it. But as hard as it is to swallow, the same ideas we preach about basic human rights are extended even to those we want to believe do not deserve them. 

Just like what Viktor Frankl believed, assuming the worst in people is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In fact, it becomes worse than we imagined, and then we think to ourselves that we were right all along. Viktor Frankl, who was a Nazi concentration camp survivor, believed this, and it has been proven to be true over and over again. 

The people who manage to turn their lives around, even after living lives many of us would be disgusted by, do so because people chose to believe they can change, to see that they were human, just like the rest of us. They were not treated with the love and respect they needed and deserved, and ended up only finding it in the wrong places – in people we as a society condemn and shun. 

Both nature and nurture impact every single person.

There is a reason why Nordic countries like Norway champion a rehabilitative prison system, treating offenders with dignity and care. It is the most effective, and humane, way to help misguided people back onto the right path. When we see others as equals and deserving of second, third, and fourth chances, we show them that things are not hopeless. That just because they messed up does not make them any less human

The Radical Humaneness of Norway’s Halden Prison - The New York Times

It is here that I invite you to look beyond simply offering basic respect for people, but to choose (though it is a painful and difficult thing) to extend grace to those who do not deserve it. In fact, you have probably done this before. When you chose to forgive someone who hurt you; your father, mother, teacher or friend, that was extending grace even though they might not have deserved it. In knowing them personally, you understood their motivations and flaws. In choosing not to hold a grudge, you accepted that they were human and gave them the chance to become better. Extending that hand pulls people out of the pit they are in. 

And so, in the same way, not knowing the stories of people on the screen does not mean they do not have one, though our minds separate “them” from us. That is something headlines use to manipulate us to get clicks, and in doing so, turn people against each other. 

And so I appeal to you to not choose to take what news sites and comments tell you at face value — the former often has ulterior motives, and the latter might be just as uninformed as you. And sometimes, extending that one drop of radical kindness impacts lives far more than you can imagine.

Being understanding of their circumstances and the cards life dealt them does not negate their wrongs; it simply avoids compounding the guilt and shame many already berate themselves with. It makes those unaware of their wrongdoings realise them, instead of being angry at everything around them. It gives many the strength to leave their bad situations, and shows others still that there is hope. 

Oftentimes it is those who have gone through the most who are able to be the most. Although hurt people hurt people, healed people heal people. 

It is seeing beyond the surface that allows us to find humanity in places where there seems to be none. Many of us may have heard of Corrie Ten Boom, the Dutch watchmaker who, along with her family, hid and thus saved many Jews during the Holocaust. But what many of us do not know is what she did after the war. 

Corrie Ten Boom, a shining beacon of love to all she met.

In the very same home she had once used to shelter Jews during WWII, she, through much struggle to forgive, chose to house and care for Nazi collaborators. Yes, the cruel, unrelenting people who had committed atrocities beyond imagination, who did not deserve to be loved or forgiven. 

It is here that I invite you to look beyond simply offering basic respect for people, but to choose (though it is a painful and difficult thing) to extend grace to those who do not deserve it. In fact, you have probably done this before. When you chose to forgive someone who hurt you; your father, mother, teacher or friend, that was extending grace even though they might not have deserved it. In knowing them personally, you understood their motivations and flaws. In choosing not to hold a grudge, you accepted that they were human and gave them the chance to become better. Extending that hand pulls people out of the pit they are in. 

And so, in the same way, not knowing the stories of people on the screen does not mean they do not have one, though our minds separate “them” from us. That is something headlines use to manipulate us to get clicks, and in doing so, turn people against each other. 

And so I appeal to you to not choose to take what news sites and comments tell you at face value — the former often has ulterior motives, and the latter might be just as uninformed as you. And sometimes, extending that one drop of radical kindness impacts lives far more than you can imagine.